Yesterday was my own family’s photo session. Yep, that’s right I absolutely practice what I preach. I take my family to have our photos taken once a year, sometimes even twice a year by another photographer other than myself. This session means a great deal to me and I always print out the best picture from the session to update my 11 by 14 frame in the front entry with our latest picture.

As the photographer, I will be honest, I am used to kids being difficult. It’s normal. My job, as the photographer, is basically to make friends with the kids. Even enlist their “help” and generally get them on-board. This is essentially my job for two reasons. The first is that kids will be kids and they always do exactly the opposite of what you want them to do … so just expect that. And second, since kids listen to anyone who is not their parent better than their parents I have a better chance as the photographer to get them to do something. Well, and in sessions with kids I come equipped with snacks. Its my secret trick. I will let them push the trigger a couple times. I will show them their picture afterwards. I have some squeaky animal lens friends. Yup, you didn’t know the fine print for a family photographer is to be a kid charmer too, right?

The other thing I am conscience of when working with kids is just to know when to make the call if something is not working and to switch gears. I can do this as the photographer because I am not emotionally connected. I haven’t visualized the “perfect” family photo into one rigid idea. Rather I have a repertoire of several generalized ideas of things to do and so when something isn’t working I just move on. I know I will be able to get something that will work and will be the right “fit” in the moment and still deliver that perfect family picture (although different from what was initially visualized). But because I am looking for cohesiveness the version I end up with is usually better.      

So…my kids are used to being in front of the camera. They understand this. Aurora will even ask to see the back of the camera afterward to see the shot. Its just how it is when mom is a photographer. So before the session, Adam and I sat Aurora down and explained that we were going to have someone take family pictures and if she was good she would get some fruit snacks. Yes, and I brought snacks and water to the session. I was equipped. Well, I guess I had unreasonable expectations because I wasn’t worried about Aurora at all … just the baby. Sigh. If its not one kid its the other, right? Well, on our way over to the location Aurora fell asleep. I knew the minute I saw her crashed out that there was a good chance she would be grumpy since we were going to have to wake her upon arrived. My heart sank but I was hopeful we could reason with her. You are probably laughing at me …”reason with a tired child?” Ha!!! But she is a smart kid and usually responds well to just explaining whats going on…

Well … yea so the reality of it was mid-session I was that parent attempting to promise my three year old the world to get her to sit down and smile…. ah yes, it went from desperate attempts of bribery to frustrated threats. Ack! Tired won. “Aurora knows better” was all I could think of or….”are you kidding me right now?!!” Completely forgetting, in my own frustration as a parent, some of my own rules. We begged, no pleaded with Aurora to wear her bow correctly and her little sweater. It took us honestly way too long to just realize we were fighting a losing battle and give up. Also, it is hard as a parent when kids are acting up to remain calm. Aurora refused to sit down then refused to smile. She was full on shouting “no” when asked to smile, crying, running off … you name it! Somewhat out of character for Aurora but definitely within character for a three year old .. nay a threenager. And to make matters worse everything was compounded because she was tired. I was so embarrassed. I did not bring up the fact that I was also a photographer to the photographer I hired and was honestly thankful she didn’t know. I expected, as kids of a photographer, that Aurora would have behaved better! And to think I was worried about the baby! Ha! However, as I became more desperate, frustrated, stressed, and frazzled as I would suspect any parent in my position would have felt, Aurora responded by being even less cooperative. Its almost like a downward spiral as we fed off each other in this parent-child power struggle.

Thank God, the photographer knew kids. She pulled out some reverse psychology on Aurora. Which of course worked. In fact, I am not sure why neither Adam or I thought of doing that … oh yea we were too emotionally invested in the moment, because reverse psychology works on Aurora really really well. We use it at home ALL the time. But because the photographer was not emotionally invested, she could see the big picture and think clearly. As a parent, we get into this rut of “I am the parent and you will do as I say.” Yea and that NEVER works…

Anyways to wrap up this post, I understand being a parent at a photo session. I have been on your side of the camera with kids. I understand the stress and frustration of having your kids act, well like kids. I get it. Don’t let this prevent you from scheduling that family photo session. Just try as hard as you can to stay clam and not freak out. We have all been there and I can say as a photographer we usually have a trick or two up our sleeves.

How did your kids behave for your family session? Any fun tricks or words of advice? Please comment below with your thoughts.